Filed under: Current Affairs
Uniquely Shah Alam is a very peaceful and some would say quiet place to live. I can’t agree more. But when it comes to doing everything else besides living, we open the Official Anatomy Of A Stupid Guide Series handbook. Shah Alam isn’t alive 24 hours a day, that’s simply because the state government says so. Shah Alam has no cinemas, no clubs (not that it would matter), no recreational facilities that open past a kindergartener’s bed time and no public toilets that open past midnight*. Hell I’m still wondering how did the Starbucks even got here! Basically there’s only 4 types of outlets that open and function 24 hours a day and that’s the mamak store, 7 Eleven, the doctor’s (extra hours mean extra large bill) and the firehouse (to make of good use, their new Scania engines). Nope, the police station either don’t open or don’t function 24 hours a day, I’ve heard through a friend before of an excuse given by a high ranking police officer quoting :-
"I cannot risk putting my officers in the open past midnight when the station is unarmed, therefore the main gates must be closed."
Go figure. Moving on, Shah Alam is also a place where people can get on that lazy boy, kick back with a can of cola in your hand, relax and enjoy a generous feed of entertainment on the television. True, this is, but some people get too relaxed until they excercise the same habits whilst driving, any Shah Alam resident who’s on the road often can agree. People here tend to take it easy and just relax way too much until they feel that driving at 40KM/h, on the fast lane is in another way "taking it easy". I remember my dad likes to do this, despicible as I may seem, he’s really annoying sometimes. It would chronicle the life and times of such a driver (they’re all the same here, just different faces) in Shah Alam. When he’s just had dinner, all blown up and enjoying, he’ll drive uber slow swaying from left to right as if my grandpa owns that stretch of road, but he doesn’t realize that actually someone at the back is trying to cut him, and he keeps saying "ala don’t worry lah, just take it easy, if he wants to overtake he will know how to lah". Yeah, sure, easy for you to say when you’re driving in the middle of the road on a two lane street =\ BUT! when he’s in a hurry, and he encounters one of his allies doing the same thing, he’ll get frustrated and start swearing and honking away. So you see, the mentality of these people are just downright based on selfishness, thinking about themselves and themselves only when they drive, it’s no wonder people speed up when you fire up the signal light if you’re in their path. No wait, there’s dessert people, when you do manage to cut these people they’ll give you the earthworm jim face assuming they did no wrong.
I’d say around 75% of the population here in Shah Alam are Malays. Okay, I’m fine with that, I don’t have a problem with Malays or anything but as I’ve demonstrated to many peers, I do have a problem with them not being able to take care of their kids when they’re out of the house. I just don’t get it you know, everybody in town including the homeless people know that Giant is no place to be for long hours, considering it’s 4 feet opening walkway, but these people just have to bring their whole 8 piece batallion of kids when they’re there and the worst part is they can’t even take care of them enough without having them run all over the place (read : toy section) and causing inconvinience for the poor people trying to get their supply of milk there (me). No magic spells or voodoo crap here people, just pure common sense. Got six kids, two hands, solution? Get a leash! Obviously I mean leave the kids at home with their Bugs Bunny and Tazmanian Devils, a Giant isn’t big enough for the whole family, that goes for the KFC and McDonalds too.
Recognize, fools, we’re big big people in a small world, manage your space and time right to avoid getting the official AOAS seal of approval for idioticity.
Where there’s a Shah Alam, get ready to smell pride on two wheels. That’s right, many people here are real proud of their wheels, mostly bikers. Not that they ride Ducati’s or anything, they’re just Honda’s and Yamaha’s and I’m not talking about CBRs or the one Valentino Rossi rides here, merely cubs and RXZs but they like to show that they’re fast by making famous roundabouts the "Super Cup Track" or something, and sure enough when they get bored they can either bother cars or become roadkill. I don’t think this little drag fair that happens weekly at the Shah Alam Stadium helps condone against the pulling of stunts whilst on the road because I don’t see a legit organizer there and they just crap around as much as they want. So really, where are the police with their huge anti graft badges? left in denial? I don’t think so.
*correct as of 14/06/2005
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