Anatomy Of A Stupid.

Well I was flipping through my photo archives and just so happen my dad was walking by and spotted this one particular photo. It’s basically terrible for me, but he was mesmerized. Not by the quality or sharpness, but by the truth and facts it tells that humans can’t be bothered to give a crap about. It seemed so surreal to him, so I thought I’d make a photo challenge for odd looking photos such as these. If you can correctly describe the object in the photo, then you are to win the photo challenge!

Actually you don’t have to take part if you don’t want to, but this is to attract people to appreciate god’s creation la, how often do we get curious enough to go this close to a plant to study it unless we’re hardcore botanists? Take a shot, won’t hurt to try =)

Oh sorry, I actually wanted to post a bulletin titled "going off~!" with this blog title as the content.

Now that I have your attention, I’m not actually bimbotic enough to think about doing that, as usual I’m here to rant about the things I am not very fond of. One of them being people who post bulletins to announce to the whole world that they’re watching American Idol, about to go to sleep, having trouble using CSS, etc. Guess what?! nobody wants to know.

I know what you’re going to say, one of your friends in your Top 6 wants to know everything that you’re doing right? well that’s because the jackhole’s just as busybody as your friendly neighbourhood kidnapper. It was out of control when you were the one posting the bulletins with teddy bears and hearts made out of symbols (of which insults the use of the aster ix and underscore keys), but now shit’s just getting old. I need my quality bulletin space back. You’re posting spam.

Sometimes I see people having conversations via the bulletin board. Talking about the CDs they bought la, their car breaking down in the rain, how bad they suck at playing pool la. Damn it, I don’t care if you got a blowjob from a stranger, you dont need to post every single damn thing that you do into a bulletin!

I’m sure you wouldn’t like it if I posted bulletins that read "ARGH!! - my aperture set wrong today…" or "DAMN! - that new Radeon 1950XT is awesome!" because you dont get what the duck I’m talking about right? Well the grass is just as green over here as it is over there. So quit it. Thank you very much.

Eversince SPM is over I’ve been a very good road surveyor, and I’ve come to notice these few things that I thought were extinct already by now, but actually they still exist. Here’s a small recap.

1) Hair stylists that can’t speak English
- I was at APT getting my hair cut and restyled in the name of feng shui (yes, feng shui for my hair, got a problem with that?) and there’s this young lady styling my hair. She makes a mistake in the fringe and I ask her to correct it but all she ever says is the word ‘yes’ in a curious tone, as if I asked her if I looked handsome or not. I get that all the time.

2) Roti canai susu
- It was the breakfast of champions and naval officers 40-50 years ago, but last week I realized that I’m not the only one who still fancies roti canai with condensed milk over it. Infact, I was at Devi’s Corner and surprisingly almost everyone was eating it!

3) Another Don Vito in Malaysia
- Haha! actually I just saw this today, there was this huge indian guy sticking out of the sunroof of an Estima, and they were at the traffic light junction and some car infront’s engine had died. But this guy was out the sunroof way before that, and he was yelling in every language he knew telling the guy to get out of the way, a very funny sight if you can encounter it. WPJ 8 Toyota Estima Black, I salute you (and your thick face).

4) The word ’stifler’
- It’s sort of like a trend to add a stifler to the back of your MySpace name, don’t know why. I assume it’s a tribute to Steve Stifler of American Pie. Yeah that was a long time ago, I can only imagine why they like to associate themselves to a guy like Steve Stifler.

 
5) People walking around with cash in their hand
- And we’re not talking about the change from yesterday’s lunch, about to leave Maybank I spot several people walking towards the bank holding huge bundles of cash in their bare hands. Either that’s the company’s money or they just forgot how safe the environment is in the 5 kilometer radius of a bank HQ.

Long story short today on the way to dinner I spotted a very interesting scene at a cross traffic light junction on the opposite side of where I was from. Imagine this, a 3 lane road. From left, the first and second lane is for going straight and the third lane is for turning right. There’s a dedicated corner to turn to the left.

First thing I see. Lane 1 (far left), an Avanza and lane 2, a Sentra with the left signal light on, meaning he obviously wants to turn left. So as he struggles to squeeze in to the first lane, the Avanza doesn’t want to give way, so he has to force his way through until the Avanza has to horn at him.

You wouldn’t believe it, the old fart driving the Avanza must’ve been having his period or something because after the Sentra made the illegal (yet indeliberate) left turn, he actually chased the Sentra down! I don’t blame him if he used to be 5-0 because he rushed his Avanza to the front of the Sentra and forced him to stop in the middle of the road. Old guy comes down, young guy winds down window, the next thing I knew the caveman Avanza driver was screaming at the top of his lungs in public BODOH! NAMPAK KERETA?! BODOH!! (stupid! didn’t see my car? stupid!!)

Moral :- how the hell are we supposed to attract tourists and avoid being the third rudest city in the world with cavemen like these running around freely? I agree it’s an illegal turn, but everyone makes mistakes, no? I’d bet the Avanza driver made such a mistake before too. So please, just remember to be polite, even when you’re pissed off.

The signs pointed to the obvious : the domain name that redirected to Apple’s website in 2004, rumors that Apple was going to introduce something that could challenge any O2, Sony Ericsson and Windows Mobile device, combined. Already being a badboy and running into trouble with others, behold, the Apple iPhone!

iPhone combines three products — a revolutionary mobile phone,
a widescreen iPod with touch controls, and a breakthrough Internet
communications device with desktop-class email, web browsing, maps, and
searching — into one small and lightweight handheld device. iPhone also
introduces an entirely new user interface based on a large multi-touch
display and pioneering new software, letting you control everything
with just your fingers. So it ushers in an era of software power and
sophistication never before seen in a mobile device, completely
redefining what you can do on a mobile phone.

 
By the looks of the photo, it appears that at day 1 it will be exclusive to Cingular customers (lucky bastards) and then maybe around 6 months into it a telco free version will be released. Americans get to see it as early as June this year, while we only can get a pinch of it’s power next year, however there will definetly be ‘entrepeneurs’ that will be unlocking the devices to make it available for sale early to desperate customers, like me. With that I pledge goodbye to, I quote some mac fanatics, "all you suckers" for this definetly is, my next phone =)

Read up : http://www.apple.com/iphone/

At first I thought I was the only one who noticed the numerous amount of nerds dressed up in dragon silk shirts and have fully gold colored hair walking around malls acting like they’re the mothers of trend of hip culture, but actually I’m not. Apparently so many other people noticed them, discussed about them, some even hate them! The amount of recognition that they get may just attract attention whores to be like them just for the sake of getting attention.

I’m talking about the lala jai and lala muis of KL.

Incase you still don’t know, lala means ‘clam’ while jai basically refers to boy and mui refers to girl. In other words, clam boy and clam girls. They dress like idiots, with ripped excuses for clothes on them varying in only fluorescent colors like purple, yellow, orange or pink and worst of all taking pics of themselves with their second hand 6630, in public, with the STUPID PEACE SIGN WHILE POKING THEIR CHEEKS. God, enough talking about mat rempits and punkers, lalas should be the new ’seek and destroy’ targets of Bush.

Listen, it’s not that I’m against the person behind the lala dressing and all, but when a guy or girl goes around town wearing ripped tops or bell bottom jeans bigger than the wheels on my car while screaming flaking chinese swear words when making calls as if we don’t know what in god’s name is a cellphone, it just annoys the crap out of me you know? and this is where I exercise my freedom of speech : GROW UP.

Damn, as if the annoyance isn’t enough, those lala jais really love to act gay all the time, it makes me wonder if they’re actually gay! They walk like they’re Pam Anderson for one swinging their ass from left to right intentionally assuming that girls think it’s cool, when reality is the only girls who like them are probably lalas too, then they sit for 2 hours at Times Square for no reason after searching for "scenic backgrounds" such as those artificial trees, toilets, escalators as backdrops for them to use when pointing their cameras to themselves in an attempt to do a self portrait, still, while doing the stupid sideway peace thinking it’s cute!

The muis? they’re all the same, posing like idiots with one leg up given the fact that the CAMERA CANT SEE YOUR LEG ANYWAY! and again, the cheek poking, deliberate high pitch voice to replicate a harajuku girl? or who knows what the flying fuck they’re trying to copy anyway, not interested to find out.

Then when they’re not in the malls trying to lala pollute vacant spaces, they’re travelling in their lalakancil or ah ma’s converted without permission wira/saga/waja ‘Evolotion’ which sound like a mobile boombox ready to collapse at any time at any traffic light it desires, and the 5 storey high spoiler, which is installed on the car’s roof, mind you. That coupled with the exhaust tip that 5 kids can fit in, don’t you start to wonder what they were smoking when they installed all these unnecessary things?

Dont get me started on them in cyber cafes! They may be good for DOTA since they put 80% of their time into it to impress their lala girlfriends, but damn, is apek techno at full volume with speakers pointing to other people really some cardinal thing that you have to do?! Dang, they’re even annoying when you chat with them online, if you ever accidentally run into them. Every single word is replaced by an emoticon, and every must sentence must end with some aftermarket smiley.. Sometimes I have to right click on the emoticon just to find out what the words they’re yapping are.. Sigh.

The other day I was with Adrian and Seh Ming in Damansara after the New Year’s countdown, we went to Hartamas for supper at about 3. Man, I didn’t know Soda’s customers are mostly lalas! you can see all kinds of shapes and sizes, pretty to ugly, ah pon to ah beng. There’s one big, and I mean really big sized lala mui dressed with a ripped dress, pink t-shirt inside, tight hip length jean skirt, AND a skin tight silk pants black in color, or whatever they call it. You try la to imagine that, see if you feel like choking or puking or not.

Finally, on our way out, there’s this one damn gay lala jai, wearing reflecting pants all covered in chinese words which glow in the dark, wears a tight RM10 silk shirt, also with dragons and chinese words and broken english sentences all over it, has a bookworm face (somebody’s been sneaking out past bedtime?) and, get this… his pants had the word BRAT spelled at the ass! I kid you not I laughed until I almost shat myself and at the same time felt so geli. That lala really scared the fcuking daylights out of me..

Definetly going to get a flame for writing this, but what the hey, freedom of speech FTW!