Anatomy Of A Stupid.

What’s so bad about : Lalas

At first I thought I was the only one who noticed the numerous amount of nerds dressed up in dragon silk shirts and have fully gold colored hair walking around malls acting like they’re the mothers of trend of hip culture, but actually I’m not. Apparently so many other people noticed them, discussed about them, some even hate them! The amount of recognition that they get may just attract attention whores to be like them just for the sake of getting attention.

I’m talking about the lala jai and lala muis of KL.

Incase you still don’t know, lala means ‘clam’ while jai basically refers to boy and mui refers to girl. In other words, clam boy and clam girls. They dress like idiots, with ripped excuses for clothes on them varying in only fluorescent colors like purple, yellow, orange or pink and worst of all taking pics of themselves with their second hand 6630, in public, with the STUPID PEACE SIGN WHILE POKING THEIR CHEEKS. God, enough talking about mat rempits and punkers, lalas should be the new ’seek and destroy’ targets of Bush.

Listen, it’s not that I’m against the person behind the lala dressing and all, but when a guy or girl goes around town wearing ripped tops or bell bottom jeans bigger than the wheels on my car while screaming flaking chinese swear words when making calls as if we don’t know what in god’s name is a cellphone, it just annoys the crap out of me you know? and this is where I exercise my freedom of speech : GROW UP.

Damn, as if the annoyance isn’t enough, those lala jais really love to act gay all the time, it makes me wonder if they’re actually gay! They walk like they’re Pam Anderson for one swinging their ass from left to right intentionally assuming that girls think it’s cool, when reality is the only girls who like them are probably lalas too, then they sit for 2 hours at Times Square for no reason after searching for "scenic backgrounds" such as those artificial trees, toilets, escalators as backdrops for them to use when pointing their cameras to themselves in an attempt to do a self portrait, still, while doing the stupid sideway peace thinking it’s cute!

The muis? they’re all the same, posing like idiots with one leg up given the fact that the CAMERA CANT SEE YOUR LEG ANYWAY! and again, the cheek poking, deliberate high pitch voice to replicate a harajuku girl? or who knows what the flying fuck they’re trying to copy anyway, not interested to find out.

Then when they’re not in the malls trying to lala pollute vacant spaces, they’re travelling in their lalakancil or ah ma’s converted without permission wira/saga/waja ‘Evolotion’ which sound like a mobile boombox ready to collapse at any time at any traffic light it desires, and the 5 storey high spoiler, which is installed on the car’s roof, mind you. That coupled with the exhaust tip that 5 kids can fit in, don’t you start to wonder what they were smoking when they installed all these unnecessary things?

Dont get me started on them in cyber cafes! They may be good for DOTA since they put 80% of their time into it to impress their lala girlfriends, but damn, is apek techno at full volume with speakers pointing to other people really some cardinal thing that you have to do?! Dang, they’re even annoying when you chat with them online, if you ever accidentally run into them. Every single word is replaced by an emoticon, and every must sentence must end with some aftermarket smiley.. Sometimes I have to right click on the emoticon just to find out what the words they’re yapping are.. Sigh.

The other day I was with Adrian and Seh Ming in Damansara after the New Year’s countdown, we went to Hartamas for supper at about 3. Man, I didn’t know Soda’s customers are mostly lalas! you can see all kinds of shapes and sizes, pretty to ugly, ah pon to ah beng. There’s one big, and I mean really big sized lala mui dressed with a ripped dress, pink t-shirt inside, tight hip length jean skirt, AND a skin tight silk pants black in color, or whatever they call it. You try la to imagine that, see if you feel like choking or puking or not.

Finally, on our way out, there’s this one damn gay lala jai, wearing reflecting pants all covered in chinese words which glow in the dark, wears a tight RM10 silk shirt, also with dragons and chinese words and broken english sentences all over it, has a bookworm face (somebody’s been sneaking out past bedtime?) and, get this… his pants had the word BRAT spelled at the ass! I kid you not I laughed until I almost shat myself and at the same time felt so geli. That lala really scared the fcuking daylights out of me..

Definetly going to get a flame for writing this, but what the hey, freedom of speech FTW!

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