Anatomy Of A Stupid.

The tough spots

It’s like every day I wake up, I read the same newspaper, I go out at the same times, I go to the same places, see the same shit, sleep at the same time and all of the sudden one day when I do something wrong it hits me so hard I get so troubled about it. I really hate this eerie feeling in my gut, mind you. The last few chances I get to patch up a friendship, something goes wrong.

Everyone has many sets of friends. Work friends, school friends, old friends, hangout friends. Try drifting apart from all of them, thats whats happening to me right now. I forgot how nice it was to have somebody acknowledge the things I do, and how awesome it was to actually have a running conversation with the other person coming back for more and vice versa. I used to have this in school, until a few asshats had to mess up everything there is to mess up about school. Everyday as I arrive at school there would be a ‘work hard, play harder’ day planned in my mind, but when the next best thing (or person in this scenario) fails you then it all goes wrong.

Let’s make it short, you need a bridge to get to an island and hence to have fun, imagine the bridge gets burned down. You still do the same thing, minus the fun. The days start to get a little crappier, the songs that suck begins to play more, bla bla bla you get the idea.

Now there’s no more school, the disconnection can be felt harder now, but I had already told myself that I wouldn’t look back if I could. I didn’t want to be the person that needed people to care about me in there, and suddenly having a culture shock when I go to the outside world with nobody to stand on. I’d start everything fresh and just ignore the glare of the past. Easier said than done, that’s for sure.

The stuff that just used to suck back then, is now being a bitch; and the people that just used to be idiots, now really even bother me in my sleep. The worst gets even worse, dissapointments get even more dissapointing compared to then. Had I just confronted all these troubles as they were happening, it would have been easier to get over but alas made me look more selfish. Was it wise to choose to be selfless? yes. Is it worth it to live the present as per the past? maybe. Would I change this if I had the chance? definetly.

Happy Valentine’s.. oh wait, it’s called Friendship Day, and Gong Hei Fatt Choi to chinese readers.

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