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We got the word, we heard the memo, we knew what we had to do but still up to the very day before his visit, we just didn’t know who the hell from which country was visiting the campus! Only when we found out that it was the King of Swaziland, not Switzerland (I knew a Swiss would never come to a French institution) and that Swaziland is a pint country in Africa. Lorrr, we sighed.
So as per the memo and some blackmail and threats of a wedgie/nipple-squeeze (ouch..) from Rouq, I agreed to wear traditional clothes i.e my Baju Melayu from last year to campus on the day of his arrival. One day prior to that me and Kheng stopped by a local Jusco to get her a Baju Kurung since the only one she had was from prefect’s duty in school (cheh, lan see!). Took me quite a while to convince her to splurge her money on it but voila! Next thing we knew she had a new outfit which she looks absolutely gorgeous in =)
So anyways, the next day I arrived about 10 minutes earlier to meet Rouq, Tommy, Elaine and Vincent in the lounge where I decided to read up on the King and ho ho ho, look at what daddy found! It’s not infact the brightest news about a King but yeah, we dug out some dirt alright.
King Mswati III of Swaziland, the last absolute monarch in South Africa. He’s one who knows how to enjoy life I tell you, he has so many wives, children and fiancees (up to 30 wives, 20 children I heard) but is still looking for the next one in the immediate near future! To actually know how many wives he has right now is a challenge, cause he probably changes them like how we change clothes. Exhibit A would be an article dated back to February 2005 saying he has 11 wives, followed by another in September saying he has 13!
On an average it’s no surprise if he spends about 1/3 of his day running the country, 1/3 selecting new wives, and the remaining 1/3 "doing it" with his current wives! The now 40 year old is definately used to being associated with trouble. Doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure it out if a King can buy 10 BMWs for his wives while the country is living on massive debt and financial aid, no? I’m not trying to imply anything offensive here, but this is pretty much the truth that I’m typing plus/minus a couple of ‘maybe’s and ‘i think’s.
It’s genetic though, and a mere pinch compared to his father, King Sobhuza II which had 70, yes your eyes are fully awake, 70 wives, 210 sons and over 1000 grandchildren! I don’t need to be the one that tells you that that’s a hell of a lot of grandchildren coming from one guy! Mswati was crowned the title at the age of 18, just when Sobhuza died of pneumonia.
Swaziland is actually a wealthy country in Africa, but compared to the world it is one of the poorest. It also has the highest HIV rate in the world with 38.8% of it’s population of 1 million having the disease. The country itself suffers crisis of what your average run-of-the-mill African country in a storybook suffers from like poverty, floods, drought and soil depletion. I’m still wondering what happened to the Beemers though. Well that’s not stopping the king anyway, it’s a ritual to have up to 20,000 teenagers come to audition to be his next bride every year, doing erotic dances wearing very exposing clothing.
Most Swazis do farming, also another no-surprise fact coming from an African country, and 40% of the land is owned by foreigners. Considering how farming "really can" run a country, I’d say this 40% plays a big role in the Swazi economy. But not as big as sugar though since concentrated cane sugar is their biggest export earner and job creator. Imagine Swaziland as the lucky miniscule African country since it’s higher ranked citizens live happy lives with their numerous wives and BMWs, yet the lower class people still can survive with African-uncommon industries such as tourism and mining.
All in all, it’s pretty interesting to study about a country as strange as Swaziland, and King Mswati himself. It’s sort of a contra which gets you going "What the hell?" and encourages you to find out as much as you can and here I am, I probably know Swaziland and it’s king too much already now since I actually read so much about it. Aanyways, he came for a short while and left, I didn’t even get to see him, maybe just a glimpse in the car when he left. However, wearing the Baju, sorta pestering her to get her Baju merely for this occasion and not even being able to see him concludes as a waste of money, so I’m sorry!
Ah well. That’s about it for this guy, I’m tired and emo-ed now. I’m 18, single, not even king of half my room and I’m driving a junk. Fudge it!
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