Anatomy Of A Stupid.

Every family has one of these. No matter what you say or how you feel, your family has that one weird member that is either so quiet they freak you out, or they’re so noisy and rebellious that they can never get along with you even if their lives depended on it. Sure, once in a while grandma will come along and iron out the wrinkles but you know they eventually come back either because of the black sheep, or your own disliking.

Now imagine the family being an organization, and you are the new grandma. The kids are the closest friends you’ve got. What do you do? How do you react?

Some people like to think of an organization that has no chemistry as just hopeless, fullstop. I on the other hand believe in change, just like Obama To me, the black sheep issue can at least have an attempt at being resolved, rather than just being red-inked and forgotten about. However, the contrary of that theory is slowly catching up to me as I approach the ending of my college life.

It has happened before in Secondary School. I can never understand what is it about people who choose to be so hard headed, so much that they don’t bother about what other people say. In other words, I never knew a person this stubborn and perhaps even cruel can appear outside of movies in real life. Though I’ve been thought all my life to never trust anyone too much, and that crackheads like these are nothing but nusiance; both the person that taught me this and the hard head himself has to wake up and smell the brewing coffee because teams don’t work without teamwork.

Co-operation has been the least of some people’s concerns. I don’t need to mention names either, because as they say, siapa makan cili, dia rasa pedas. If I were a leader in an organization that requires teamwork, you can bet that I’ll just terminate those who can’t take it as a team effort. Until today, nobody has yet to achieve this effect because I realize that I am still in an immature environment. Teamwork isn’t the first priority, friendship is.

Yes it’s true, my mother is the one that taught me not to care about my friends too much. I don’t blame her though, she climbed up the tall ladder of success not only on her own, but with obstacles to be rid of. Her style of thinking is rather old school, but when I think about it properly, it is perfect.

It’s a simple system. You get rid of the crackheads, and keep in the key players. Oh how I wish leaders could execute this easily without having to deal with the Gossip Girl drama shortly after. Sadly this isn’t how the world I am in now operates.

We are too fond of keeping close relations with a peer, even with some claiming it would be an advantage if you happen to bump into them in the real world next time. Like I said, I believe in change, but slowly I’m becoming a pessimist. Now I don’t believe people can make such changes. My own motto? One doesn’t need those whom cannot be productive, now or ever.

I see myself slowly transforming, but I feel like it’s what I should do to keep myself safe. I feel like it is right. Caring too much about friends won’t make you succeed. Suddenly, the best way to deal with hypocrites and nonconstructive critics is to just fuck them, and be on with life. No matter what happens, put your own oxygen mask on first before helping others. Be selfish. Be arrogant. One must do whatever one feels is right, and insist on that idea because one knows that is the right decision. I am becoming one of them.

Minus the friends.

Monday will be a good day. Watch out, pricks and bastards of the earth.

History will repeat itself. Stay tuned.

Before we start things off, I’d like to congratulate shy guy Hadi for passing his driver’s license exam earlier today! Hopefully the surprise visit and drive to AC wasn’t too much for him to handle, since like Maynard said he already plastered an “I hate my life” or even better “I hate my friends” face on him post left the house. Yerp, that’s right, he doesn’t even know we wanted him to drive us and he already looked like he was about to pounce on somebody. Nevertheless, everything was fine up to parking, good ole’ Vincent took over there. But I’m still proud of the introvert rempit for accepting the challenge in the first place xP

I’ve been all over the Klang Valley today itself. Started my day with bank chores beginning in Shah Alam and ending in Citibank, KL. Went for lunch with mum at Screaming Bananas (yes, it used to be a gay cafe) and had a so-so seafood platter. Well it was more of pieces of frozen seafood blanched, plated and smothered with a rather bland when hot but savoury when warm dill cream sauce. Got a shock of my life when my mom uncovered that she only wanted a Caesar salad for lunch. But that’s not the half of it, she also told me that this has been her diet. For two months!

A salad for breakfast, lunch and high tea. U-crazy-what?!

I’ll have to make a note to come home early and force her to eat out more, or maybe even the inevitable - cook. Either way she’d better eat more, what more with “that time” coming soon. So after lunch I went home, only to discover immediately that I forgot to meet the sales manager of Sunway to pass a letter, then immediately left for Subang again. But not before checking in on my baby though Shrugs, too bad he’s not there though. Infact, he’s not there permanently! Left the company 2 weeks ago. Sheesh.

So I went to Summit and picked up copies of Left4Dead, Farcry 2 and COD WaW. Haven’t installed it yet though. The last time I bought a game, it was Battlefield 2142 back in 2007 and I haven’t installed that one either.. But of course it’s because I tried it in the CC and it wasn’t that nice.. L4D however is a different story. For those who are wondering why have I been “ta kei”-ing so much these days, don’t ask so much la, just try the game out yourself and you’ll know what I mean. If you want further information, please contact Edmond Wong xP

After Summit, headed to Rock Cafe for a game of L4D with the gang. Man, the last time this happened was during post secondary school days! Quite refreshing it was. Met the infamous Marwan that Adrian blabbers about non stop, and another acquaintance, Joshua from Sarawak. Sort of the Maynard of Life College. After the good game, headed to AC for lunch, then went home. Not that I had that much time because soon after I had to leave for Subang yet again for the Hadi thing.

After that also not over yet! Went to D.E for yam cha with Adrian and friends again. Phew, so much travelling in a day probably could kill. Did the usual rounds but for a good change, was in Jimmy’s brother’s Putra instead of any of our cars. Well, strolling around in the same car all the time isn’t the most fun thing in the world after the third or fourth time. We went to guess where…. SUBANG! A-FRICKIN-GAIN! IF you counted, that’s 4 visits to Subang in one day for myself. Never done that before even on the most boring days so, congratulations and celebrations!

I’m sorry there’s no pictures to bimbofy this blog any further. I know everyone loves a bimbo element here and there and I already told myself to bring the EOS out for Hadi’s first time driving but eventually forgot. I’ll remember to leave a mental note next time. That’s it for today’s hectic day!

Just when I thought, after celebrating exactly one painstaking year with my car, that I finally had total control over it, and not the other way around. What can I say, all it took the old road from Sepang to Port Dickson, one bloody annoying but gutsy prick driving a Proton Saga and matching music to throw down all that year’s worth of practice down the drain in a very ricey “2 Fast 2 Furious” style touge.

Not trying to sound dramatic, but many “elder” people incessently warned me on the difference between a turbo and a naturally aspirated car. Some even immaturely claiming I can’t handle it. So I spent this one whole year getting used to the car, and I tell you, some of them were right. The 4WD difference itself is clear already, only difference is this is a good difference since 4 wheelers take corners better (will be self-explained later). The turbo difference can be a world apart if you factor in the corners involved. Like what most connoisseurs would say, anybody can drive a car in a straight line.

So here I am, after a dinner with F&B lecturer Mr. Danial consisting of a feast of Sate (not the Kajang one) with Maynard and Hadi in the car. We opted for the back route back to KL, you know, those routes that your parents despise so much padahal used to patronize back before Mahathir built the North-South Highway. As per what you might expect, it was pitch black and the roads were twistier than the road up to Genting. Whilst being navigated by Hadi, I can’t seem to get a little speck of irritation off the corner of my eye. It’s a very familiar sight, familiar from before we even entered the route. A tailgater.

Don’t you hate those bastards? The ones that tailgate you for the f*cks of it. What more when you have a powerful car, and you somehow know you can smoke them, but you try to be good to yourself and honor that promise you made with your friends and family never to race on the streets. Well say hello to the Proton Saga. A humble, slightly boxy yet aerodynamic on the front, with suspensions more wobbly than a drunk college chick. I can tell this guy has knowledge and guts. He’s pushing his car to keep up, but there is a difference. I bet it’s his memory for the route, but he always seem to catch up.

I left a trail length of 10 cars now, and he’ll catch up in 10 minutes time. Just to confirm he was after me, I occasionally sped through corners where the 4WD dominated (more traction from 4 tyres, instead of just 2, muahaha!) and slowed down after. True enough, he came rushing to my ass like a bee but doesn’t overtake.  The Aha Moment strikes. Aha! So he is after me.

Pop Shuvit’s Mara Bahaya plays.

Thinking I have the car under control, I begin the aggressive touge through the palm oil estate shouldered tarmac. Corners at 70km/h were memoirs of Sepang, and the boxy pest was off my back for a good period of time. Until it came back again when I was stuck behind a pickup, this time tailing even closer. Frustrated, wanting him to overtake but obviously not interested, I continue again. The roads became more and more twisty, more sharp corners came and soon my fear got the better me. Took a hairpin at close to 80 and lost the rear for a while.

Cold sweat broke out as Hadi grabbed the cabin handle and I thought this was it. LUCKILY! Once again, 4WD saved me, as soon as I stepped on the accelerator, the rear gained conscienceness. Thank god. Even braked just in time to avoid the guard rail protecting me from falling into what seemed to be a ravine, swerved back on track and made it look all intentional. A slight grin was playing.

Then came that prick again, same corner, only he took it a lot better than me. Tailed me all the way to a traffic light junction until we parted ways. No thumbs up to this one, because obviously there are fear factors here. Danger is uncool.

First, tailing a car more powerful than you, if not dangerous, is just blipping stupid. You risk so many things you probably wouldn’t even want to tail a Sunny after you realize it. Ever though of what happens if the guy infront slams on his brakes? Yeah, that’s right bud, YOU’RE paying for it! There goes your salary/allowance, and there he gets a new paintjob. If humans are so evil they could invade a whole city full of children then trust me, some idiot’s gonna do this to you one day if you’re a tailgater.

Second, if you’re one of those ricers who drive stock Civics or worse, the dreaded Xlutions (X=Wira, Waja, Saga, Iswara, Satria, Kancil, Myvi, Kenari, Laser, etc) then please please always remember that your brakes suck! Enough about freaking zero to hundreds, talk about hundreds to zero and then think about tailgating a car with Brembos! No, Brembo covers are strictly for ricers who have no provision for other modifications.

Finally, you never know when you’re going to meet guys like this.

Trust me, it ain’t worth losing a camera this way!

To all my friends, relatives, bypassers, pets, haters, lovers, teachers, juniors, seniors and what ever other category you may fall under..

Gong Hei Fatt Choi! Ang Pau na lai

As much as I try to deny, evade, dodge or forget about it, the thought seems to quickly whisk back into my mind faster than last time - Graduation is coming. That’s not a quarter of my problems, since everyone knows before graduation, there’s finals and after graduation, there’s either continuing studies or stepping into the working world.

I’ve been around asking my friends for their opinion. Hey, no matter how calm I seem, I’m actually pretty darn worried about the future XD It’s a to see many of my younger peers wake up from their honeymoon state and realize that the world is indeed going through a rough period of recession today. During my training, the most constructive opinion I got from the chefs were “Just go out and work lah, no need education one”. Well obviously those chefs joined the industry at the very right time because retrenching is the new promotion for the food and beverage line these days.

It’s not just them who woke up, but myself as well. Half way through my course I realized my passion but lack of skill for all things cooking. I’m a part of a common breed of culinary students, a sort of Jack Of All Trades kind of cook, but Master Of None type of chef. It beats me why but I can do almost anything there is to do, I’m just not good in doing it with manners. I’ve also come to accept that this feature is godsent, and if I was meant to not have shaky hands, then maybe I’d be able to dream to be a chocolatier, like how I always wanted to be as succesful as Jacques Torres. But too bad, I’ve yet to change my perception on that, and the Diploma program at Taylor’s haven’t either.

In case you can’t spot it yet, I like to dream and make it big. Not in an overnight period, but for me to see the worth of doing something, the result must be big. Being a chocolatier, I know I’m doing something I love and I can make it big. Owning my own restaurant is nice, but has always been a secondary objective to me. Can’t see myself doing split shifts to make ends meet, you know? We’re talking zero social life here. However, I have looked at the options of being a cook on a ship (yes yes, laugh as much as you want, Maynard/Hadi/Vincent). I like the idea because even if I’m away for long periods at a time, I have no where to spend my salary. In return, I’ll have a larger savings and can enjoy a bigger sum later. See the key focus in me? Big.

So at some point in the course, I was keen on being the proprietor of a raw ingredients supply company. I thought it was perfect to have this diploma and perhaps a degree later in culinary arts, and run a business supplying materials used to create foods. I had outlined my career path in my head and it looked crystal clear. I was to work in the purchasing department of a renowned hotel for a few years, followed by a few more years in the sales department of a local supply company to learn the ins and outs of both sides. As with any other career, one would learn the trade secrets, then take it and use it for themselves. I was to do the same.

That was until last week.

Chef Bala gave us a short talk on our future options. I won’t mention too much about this because I wasn’t too bothered to listen to his speech promoting Taylor’s. You see, the problem with Taylor’s always has been that the program is in denial. It doesn’t offer a student the best, and this is the simple truth. We get ingredients that aren’t fresh, or worse rotten, and when we do get the good ones they’re never enough. I am one of the few in my group that can appreciate this, because looking at the bright side, this is a scenario that happens one too many times in the real world. We get to train how to react to shitty situations like this. But that isn’t what the course is about.

We are under the pretigious Academy of Toulouse but we’re getting education that’s half as good as the local Universities. I don’t mean to badmouth Taylor’s, but maybe they should think again about their false advertising to avoid making a car crash out of more students’ futures.

However, I did consult Bala personally short after the speech ended and he pretty much reinforced into me that I wasn’t going to get anywhere without something more than a Diploma. Simply because, what if there’s another Andy out there that does have a degree and is pursuing the same thing? Who would the employer choose? I was sold. So I shuffled through my options, and through my friends got to know about many more of the culinary institutes outside of Malaysia. I envy the students and the education that they are getting. It is so complete, wonderful and interesting. We’re not talking about college prospecters here because I read blogs, testimonials and viewed pictures and I just compare it to pictures of the works of students in Taylor’s. From there, I know the difference is quite clear.

My final gripe on this is that like I said, Taylor’s is endorsed by a pretigious French institute. But it offers shit results. The ones overseas are literally run by people who look like they’re sub 30 in age, has no endorsements, but the graduates churned are at least 10 times more knowledgeable. What should a potential student do? To join the big brand, miss out on education, but relax at the though that searching for a job later is easier later OR to join the small timer, get all the skill one needs, but struggle finding a job because the employer hasn’t heard of the school you went to before?

It’s this very debate that has made me try to avoid the option of furthering studies, and just work. However, I can’t at the same time deny the economy. We’re at a downfall. What should I do? What can I do? The end is near, and I am scared.

Hello again world! I must say, that extended hiatus I took for myself minus taking the initiative to be courteous and inform, or well, remind you that my blog is going to be akin to a deserted cowboy town for a few months time, was pretty darn inspiring! It’s one of those things you’ve been doing so frequently and suddenly one day.. you just start ommitting the routine. Same thing for the days that follow and then on that one blue moon night you go.. Let’s do something crazy and unexpected!

Well I’m back! With more ammunition of sarcasm and dry humor than an indie stand-up comedian, I guess I’ll just bear with the new Friendster-Wordpress template as much as I hate it, and try be as consistent as fellow blogger/college mate Maynard which is doing an excellent job at maintaining his almost new Dot Com blog, Pervertism101. Check it out, it’s worth it.

Too many new things in the world this year. Just like the black man said, Change Has Come (To America). I’m particularly saddened by the recent Gaza ambush but as usual, I end up being more upset at the way some people immaturely misunderstand the real issue than being upset at the issue itself. Too bad people don’t bother reading news materials published not just by Westerners, but everyone else as well because both you and I know, the world is full of liars to date. Try to ask the next guy that talks to you about Gaza to fully explain the situation to you.

Does the person know who caused it? Does the person know why it was caused? Can the person figure out why every single war in the region always has a casualty rate of 1:10 at least, with 1 being the number of Israelis and 10 being the number of Palestineans? The first thing Obama should do for change is force everyone to RTFM (Read The F*cking Manual) first before whining about something cause, chances are the moron that blames Palestine for starting a flame can’t figure out the equation that the move was first played by Militants, aiming for military personnel, and NOT civillians. But how did the Israelis take it? Exactly, bomb every single mind and soul on Palestinean soil. Who’s at fault? I’ll leave it to you to consider.

Anyways, enough about politics. Politics is one of those truly subjective to the core kind of matters. Nobody but the eye witnesses have a real solid say, but rather are just stating their own opinions or lies about the matter.

College started off pretty well with a relatively loose schedule as everyone in DC would know, but no vacation comes without a price. Slowly but surely, we are being bombarded with assignments and duties enough to make a teacher’s pet commit suicide. What about kitchen you ask? Well of course! We now have juniors for our assistants instead of our friends. Calculate the fun factor, you have a student who just joined the college a week back and you need to explain to her how to cook up a fancy French fare of three courses that is supposed to be perfect, in just 15 minutes.

My first day was with Pamela, the junior of only one term that can turn carrots almost 10 times better than me. Lucky break I assume. Second week wasn’t such a striker, got a term 1 student named Matie (ok, stop laughing, your name isn’t exactly a good luck charm either) to be my assistant. Fearing the worst, a blur and out of order assistant, I preplanned the menu to be VERY simple. The menu was demanding, a started of pancakes with shrimp, entree of poached chicken and dessert being a simple cake with vanilla sauce. Sounded simple, until I screwed up the chicken by not cooking it (officially codenamed an “attempt to kill a lecturer”) and slamming myself on the plating of the starter. Plus aside from all this, all 3 dishes required at least one sauce. That’s not a very often event if I may say myself.

Luckily Matie, the Zimbabwean senior in age by 4 years compared to me, had the patience to take my blabbering and fickled mind with a large pinch of salt. I often found myself telling her to do something without explaining how to do it, and also ordering her to carry out a task while she’s already occupied with something.

The format is exactly the same for my Final Exam. We will each get two assistants whom are assigned randomly, and the fear in everyone is getting a hopeless assistant. While you can’t let the assistants stand around having a David Letterman, you also can’t let them carry out the entire operation. It’s like a fine line that is too easy to cross, and the grey area that I almost always step in. But it’s only the second week, I hope to practice actually handling the assistant, rather than practice cooking with an assistant next week. A better command should help smoothen the work flow.

Of other things, we’re having a Food Promo coming up soon! This time an all DC27 event, themed a classical French dining experience from the beginning to the end. Offering 11 dishes composed with exotic ingredients such as Foie Gras (liver of a goose), Scallops, Escargot, Turkey and Beef Cheeks with traditional table side waiter chef service (Gueridon), the price tag is pretty reasonable. It is priced at RM80 but for early birds there will be an RM10 discount, so it’s RM70 for a dinner that can cost up to RM200 outside in restaurants! Not only that, but we have plenty of bottles of wine, souvenirs, appliances, vouchers and what not to give away for lucky draws. We ALSO have in house violinist Cow and pianist Mischa on stage! To add that final touch to the dinner? A French dinner with the real deal, wine pairing. Only thing is the wine you will have with the dinner is mock wine, which is a special concoction made specially by us to replicate the taste of real wine, minus the alcohol! Tell me if that is not a steal for just RM70. The event is going to be on the 21st of February, posters will be up everywhere in college but those from the outside are very much welcomed to join us in this one night only event too. An RSVP is compulsory and anyone can contact me if they are interested!

Too many things running through my mind to blog now, too little time left in my ability to stay up.

Socially, I am becoming more and more inactive. I’m not sure if it’s a chemical chain of reactions or not, but the distance between me and my social life is getting greater. I find that I am spending less time out yam cha-ing, going to places, playing games and all this year. It’s not something I desire but I find that I can’t be bothered by it? Maybe that’s what I want to think, because at times the thought does seem disturbing. Well of course, who doesn’t need friends? I should take this opportunity to apologize if I have offended anyone by accident, and if should it be the direct or indirect cause to this then I’ll have you know I never intended to take it to this level.

For those that I have offended intentionally (ah, it’s just less than a handful, you know who you are), f*ck you and enjoy your AIDS!

Speaking of bullshit friends, I can’t seem to figure out why some if not most of my friends just can’t keep their hands off the cookie jar. You know, just like the song, listen to it and you’ll know what I mean. These are people willing to trade their reputation with their true friends for the fucks of having a fling for a short moment. Then what? Come crawling back when that dream girl or guy of yours flee for a better half? Best part is these people are the ones that have made the most amount of mistakes in the field, but they still repeat history over and over again. Well, I’ve got not much to say, except you should know where you stand. Lovers come and go, friends are here to stay. When you have a family, then your friends come and go. You can keep reciting the same sad story everytime you crawl back to us, but know one thing; one day we’re gonna get sick and tired of your shit sitcom. This includes the people who hop from “friend” to “friend” whenever they want to like they have the right to as well.

I hope you’re happy ditching the people who’ve looked out for you for some generic acquantaince. Have fun while your trophy boy/girlfriends please your eyes and when you get it (not technically, you perv!), enjoy your AIDS!

Well now that was a refreshing comeback. Expect more! For now, this is the A with a tip of the day: don’t frown if you don’t have to, because you look like an ugly shit when you do, and it takes less muscles to smile anyway so practice it.

Have a good Lunar New Year! Signing out.