Anatomy Of A Stupid.

Midnight Run

Just when I thought, after celebrating exactly one painstaking year with my car, that I finally had total control over it, and not the other way around. What can I say, all it took the old road from Sepang to Port Dickson, one bloody annoying but gutsy prick driving a Proton Saga and matching music to throw down all that year’s worth of practice down the drain in a very ricey “2 Fast 2 Furious” style touge.

Not trying to sound dramatic, but many “elder” people incessently warned me on the difference between a turbo and a naturally aspirated car. Some even immaturely claiming I can’t handle it. So I spent this one whole year getting used to the car, and I tell you, some of them were right. The 4WD difference itself is clear already, only difference is this is a good difference since 4 wheelers take corners better (will be self-explained later). The turbo difference can be a world apart if you factor in the corners involved. Like what most connoisseurs would say, anybody can drive a car in a straight line.

So here I am, after a dinner with F&B lecturer Mr. Danial consisting of a feast of Sate (not the Kajang one) with Maynard and Hadi in the car. We opted for the back route back to KL, you know, those routes that your parents despise so much padahal used to patronize back before Mahathir built the North-South Highway. As per what you might expect, it was pitch black and the roads were twistier than the road up to Genting. Whilst being navigated by Hadi, I can’t seem to get a little speck of irritation off the corner of my eye. It’s a very familiar sight, familiar from before we even entered the route. A tailgater.

Don’t you hate those bastards? The ones that tailgate you for the f*cks of it. What more when you have a powerful car, and you somehow know you can smoke them, but you try to be good to yourself and honor that promise you made with your friends and family never to race on the streets. Well say hello to the Proton Saga. A humble, slightly boxy yet aerodynamic on the front, with suspensions more wobbly than a drunk college chick. I can tell this guy has knowledge and guts. He’s pushing his car to keep up, but there is a difference. I bet it’s his memory for the route, but he always seem to catch up.

I left a trail length of 10 cars now, and he’ll catch up in 10 minutes time. Just to confirm he was after me, I occasionally sped through corners where the 4WD dominated (more traction from 4 tyres, instead of just 2, muahaha!) and slowed down after. True enough, he came rushing to my ass like a bee but doesn’t overtake.  The Aha Moment strikes. Aha! So he is after me.

Pop Shuvit’s Mara Bahaya plays.

Thinking I have the car under control, I begin the aggressive touge through the palm oil estate shouldered tarmac. Corners at 70km/h were memoirs of Sepang, and the boxy pest was off my back for a good period of time. Until it came back again when I was stuck behind a pickup, this time tailing even closer. Frustrated, wanting him to overtake but obviously not interested, I continue again. The roads became more and more twisty, more sharp corners came and soon my fear got the better me. Took a hairpin at close to 80 and lost the rear for a while.

Cold sweat broke out as Hadi grabbed the cabin handle and I thought this was it. LUCKILY! Once again, 4WD saved me, as soon as I stepped on the accelerator, the rear gained conscienceness. Thank god. Even braked just in time to avoid the guard rail protecting me from falling into what seemed to be a ravine, swerved back on track and made it look all intentional. A slight grin was playing.

Then came that prick again, same corner, only he took it a lot better than me. Tailed me all the way to a traffic light junction until we parted ways. No thumbs up to this one, because obviously there are fear factors here. Danger is uncool.

First, tailing a car more powerful than you, if not dangerous, is just blipping stupid. You risk so many things you probably wouldn’t even want to tail a Sunny after you realize it. Ever though of what happens if the guy infront slams on his brakes? Yeah, that’s right bud, YOU’RE paying for it! There goes your salary/allowance, and there he gets a new paintjob. If humans are so evil they could invade a whole city full of children then trust me, some idiot’s gonna do this to you one day if you’re a tailgater.

Second, if you’re one of those ricers who drive stock Civics or worse, the dreaded Xlutions (X=Wira, Waja, Saga, Iswara, Satria, Kancil, Myvi, Kenari, Laser, etc) then please please always remember that your brakes suck! Enough about freaking zero to hundreds, talk about hundreds to zero and then think about tailgating a car with Brembos! No, Brembo covers are strictly for ricers who have no provision for other modifications.

Finally, you never know when you’re going to meet guys like this.

Trust me, it ain’t worth losing a camera this way!

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