Anatomy Of A Stupid.

Now that I’ve finally walked (or as I would prefer to claim Crash and Burned) through two decades of life, it’s that time again where I offer my greatest gratitude for those who wished me throughout the night. You guys are the best!

Biggest props go to DiGi and LowYat.Net for being the first to wish me (despite being automatically generated xP) at 12.00am sharp!

Okay that was a joke.

In other news, managed to swap the coils on Signal on Friday despite the hectic schedule and incessant supply of assignments due ever so soon. Didn’t like Tein HA shocks and took a while to find the perfect one but after a good offer for this popped up on ZTH.

RSR’s Ti2000, claimed to be the only 2000 tensile Titanium (though I’d take that with more than a pinch of salt) coils in the market. A quick review hunt and hours later I’ve picked up the coils from the seller.

On a more serious note, I’m liking the feeling up front but it’s a bit soft in the rear compared to the Tein. As this is just the coil I’ve also used my previous stock Bilstein shocks with it and it’s absolutely mint in ride height! A quarter inch less (from the already one inch) and I’d call it a day for height lowering. Highly recommended for enthusiasts in search of comfortable progressive springs that offer optimum ride height.

Muahaha! Sorry I’m spendthrift suddenly, perhaps it’s the it’s-my-party-and-ill-cry-if-i-want-to effect since it’s just around the corner to the big day. As a matter of fact, I’m thinking this is probably the ultimate reason why adults don’t celebrate their birthdays as much as they get older, the standards of satisfaction in this reimbursement we call a Birthday Present keeps rising with no body being able to keep up. Hence, it’s a lot more satisfying to buy yourself a nice gift and spend time ultilizing it on your birthday rather than throwing parties, getting so smashed you can’t walk straight and wake up with a dying headache the next day.

But then again, what do I know about partying?

Until then, au revoir.

Short updates. Birthday just around the corner but it hardly feels like one. Anyways I’d just like to inform anyone planning any surprises that may be reading this coincidentally. Let’s spend this birthday without the eggs and random infiltration of my home this year. Oh and these are some of the things you should NEVER buy me as a gift. Infact just don’t ever buy it for anyone with an IQ of more than 2.

No, as a matter of fact I don’t have any obnoxious alcohol problems resulting in my not being able to find the same knob I’ve used for the past 12 years of my life at night.

Now that’s just mean! Well if you know me well enough to know I’m assless at least. Now where’s that Nice Hair! crap cap when I need it..

Oh yeah sure rub it in my face, rub it in the fact that the neighbour’s cats aren’t giving me enough animal shit around the house already. Maybe I should fill these up with the very same crap on the lawn, pack it back up in it’s box and use the almighty “Return To Sender” huh? Now THAT, my friends, is the real conversation piece.

Well yeah, just a short one for the month’s end. Blogging prudently is oh so hard when I’m certified Abnormally Sarcastic by the dude that created the How Sarcastic Are You? quiz. See you on Facebook, dumbass!

Have a good weekend.

Of all the times that I have to suddenly feel this way, I am at the moment quite stressed and regretful that I :-

1. Did not take up piano classes

2. Did not shut up when trying to be taught Chinese

3. Can not draw for shits (saddest bit of all)

Oui, ca m’énerve.

Ironic how I am about to shape this awkward post. Truth be told, referring to my previous post, I was actually about to head out for a midnight journey to Seremban where I would have seen my ill grandmother for the very last time. Unfortunately even that didn’t happen, for as you know, referring to my previous post, a scouring cat and angst stopped me. In other words, the stray cats stopped me from going out of the house, eventually making me lose initiative to visit my grandma.

The blaring hot Saturday afternoon presented itself as rude and unfriendly. I was late for my meeting with the group for our French assignment filming. Took a warm shower and headed out to Signal (the car) and checked for my props. Checked. Prior to leaving a short arguement presented itself in the form of me blaming my dad for not allowing me to go to Seremban the night before. Yes, this was before the cats stopped me. Double whammy.

Just when I hit reverse my phone rang. It’s my dad. What on earth could he want from me on the phone when I’m barely 20 feet away from him outside?

Me : *picks up* What? (yea, rather rudely, I am quite aware and noted of it)

Dad : Where are you?

Me : Outside in the car la. What is it?

Dad : Masuk sekejap. I want to tell you something.

Me : What is it??

Dad : Just come in a while, need to tell you something.

If I can be an honest prick with you, I actually already picked up the hint and was in extreme denial in the walk towards the door where I saw my dad standing there in shock.

Dad : Your guai ma is no more.

Perhaps a redundant amount of reminders hit me then that my grandmother just passed away prior to mother’s day but I couldn’t help but feel more furious at my dad and that damned cat.

Me : I’m going to Seremban first, I’ll see you there..

I don’t know am I illustrating this in a drama queen or truthful way but my style of writing can often be rather plasticky and cliche as Maynard would call it. I can’t help but feel so disappointed that the last words I told my grandmother was “I’ll be back to see you again” and I never managed to fulfill that promise. Damn it.

If you were one of the few that knew directly what was happening, you know who you are, you’d know that I’m closer to my mother’s mother more than my father’s mother. Actually I should rephrase that. I’m closest to my mom, then my dad, then my grandma followed by my aunties and uncles. My dad’s side unfortunately I am not so close with due to many many reasons.

To lose this person was a bit harder to accept when I look back at my close friend Adrian and the loss of his good father. From a distance all’s well but now I know just how hard was it to deny the evident around me. Breaking down was out of the question but the pinch got a little bit more firm this time around compared to the loss of my grandfather when I was 13.

Her contributions are more than duly noted for a person that always hisses words of advice into ears of grandchildren and children alike. How she would tell the table full of high rolling, gambling uncles to go slow and don’t waste money; how she would just remind and not scold the little kids of the family when they refused to do their homework; and how she would always remind the teenagers to study hard while they’re busy texting their friends or on their Nintendos and about to leave the house.

I can’t speak Chinese, and she can barely understand my Malay, but we still click because of her patience. I know a couple of cousins from my “holy side” that couldn’t give two hoots about me and I have my Chinese grandmother who would always know what I am up to because she’s patient enough to take note of what’s happening to her grandchildren, and even great grandchildren (two of them, actually).

So after two days of travelling up and down, many apologies to my friends whom I was forced to cancel appointments with, doing all that I can to contribute anything she would need in her afterlife from a Buddhist’s belief (everything except for the joss stick) it was then the very last time we would see the image of her ever.

Cremation has never been my choice of incineration but it appears to be a well accepted practice in the family so I will just accept it where I have no authority. Rest assured that I will never allow anyone to be cremated if they never asked for it, and if I had the resources to accomodate a proper grave for the deceased.

The casket is nailed. Tears are everywhere. Tears are on my face.

The motorcade’s journey inbound for a local crematory took place after the mandatory walk lead by the sons-in-laws. I think this is a Hokkien practice as I’ve rarely seen this anywhere else. It was a slow and heavy 10 kilometers I assure you. The distance has never felt so lengthy before coming from a now regular 160km/h go-er.

When we arrived at the crematory I had to bare that same sight I absolutely hate to the guts. The sight of the casket facing a huge gas furnace only meant for reducing remains of a human to bones and ashes. Call me paranoid, but burning and bodies don’t match at all from my point of view. Please remind me again why do we practice such, to me, cruelty. We watched as the conveyor slowly brought her close and closer to the end.

The doors closed. This crematory has a different policy, one that guarantees the operator does not allow the family and friends to observe the loading process of the coffin into the furnace. Pure genius I must say. I can never bear the sight of a loved one going into an oven, really.

On the way out, it was almost like it was planned. The chimney starter producing black smoke, and I can say I curiously smiled knowing that she is now on her way there the way she wanted to go. Now we’re toning back to normal. The mourning is over but the damage so severe it’s here to stay. She made us, and now we’ve lost. I’ve lost a grandmother, a mother at times and an adviser. What fears me is that the family has lost the last bonding unit. I can only hope for the best in the Lee family.

I hope we folded enough money for you to pass that toll Mummy told me about. I made sure the gold coins I folded got even nicer in shape the more I progressed. I’ve prayed more than more than enough for you but I doubt it’s what you deserve. Of course you deserved more than a cancer like this and suffering for that whole period, entering and exiting the hospital. That doctor deserves a good knucle to his nose for implying we pull the plug on you, just so you thought otherwise. I’ll always remember to study hard because you told me to, and no matter what ridiculous things she will say, I will work hard to take care of Mummy.

Drive that car carefully, just like how you told me to. Eventhough I often disobey.

Eu Tew Choon
1938 - 2009

Bismillah.

As much as it pains me to say this, with hopes that informing it publicly will lighten the guilt of my family but as of 4 days ago, we are now on high alert for two unknown stray cats lingering.. no, I should probably say ransacking our home bit by bit. Yes, that’s not it, the real point is unknowingly we are eminently.. how should I say this..

ready to kill.

It all started one day when a styrofoam board covering a breathing hole of the house was stolen/misplaced/used for other purposes and this one particular cat kept tresspassing through that very hole. Well a few days later, arriving home from a long day at college, I was greeted by guess what - cat urine and poop odour. Didn’t take me long to find the source afterall. As soon as I verified that it was going to be a shitty situation I hear a crackling sound behind me.

It’s the cat. As we stared at each other for a good 10 seconds wondering what the hell to do a couple of ideas were shuffling through my mind. Should I slowly open the door (praying that it won’t run upstairs into the bedrooms) or grab the nearest golf club and do justice. Blah, I did neither, it ran upstairs into my bedroom before I could do anything.

Long story short, ever since then the house has slowly turned into a pigsty from either the cat’s work or our own ransacking to find them. Oh yes, I forgot, the second cat is the lover to the first cat. A rather stupid one I’d say as my dad found it hiding behind our living room flat screen.

If anyone wishes to do something about animals then this is the time. Give me some suggestions on ousting a stray cat that hides better than a stash of porno. The situation is getting well out of control and once it touches anything that we value more than a necessity, it most definitely is going to be the last thing it comes into contact with. Take a minute to walk in my shoes any imagine you not being cruel.

Please help. Help me help the cats that is.